Crackers
by leechi nut
Summary: Beast Boy and Raven bond over snack time. Double shot.
1. Animals

_Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. They are the property of DC Comics and Cartoon Network._

**Crackers**

**Chapter One: Animals**

_104° F. The lioness can feel it, though she doesn't think in terms of temperature scales and numbers. The midday sun burns the dry, savannah grasses the same tawny color as her coat, camouflaging her from her potential meal. She shifts uncomfortably in the heat, panting lightly to keep cool, and hopes the wind will stay in her favor. She doesn't want her dinner tipped off just yet. _

_Amber eyes gleam as she follows the labored steps of the elderly zebra; it falls farther and farther behind its family, and they have yet to realize it. She licks her lips. Soon. Very soon._

_She seeks out her sisters' eyes, crouching like her in a wide semi-circle around the weakening creature, and with a signal imperceptible to human eyes and ears--_

"Beast Boy!"

In the blink of an emerald eye, the African plain was replaced by the kitchen countertop of the Titans Tower, and the pride and their prey were relegated back to mere dough effigies. The boy in question let out a nervous chuckle and quickly palmed the animal crackers he had just been playing with. "Heh. Hi, Raven."

"_What_ are you doing?" the girl asked.

"Um... playing... with my food?"

Raven arched an elegant eyebrow, and Beast Boy fidgeted under the weight of her steady, unreadable gaze. Unable to tell whether his teammate was amused or annoyed and not knowing what else to do, Beast Boy hesitantly opened his fists to reveal the edible menagerie within.

"Want one?" he offered.

Raven stared at his hand for a long moment during which Beast Boy began to wonder if offering someone a molded biscuit was a punishable offense on Azarath. But then the ghost of a smile alighted on her face, and she murmured, "Why not?"

So it was that the unlikely duo came to be seated side by side at the kitchen counter with a box of Barnum's Animals between them. Beast Boy sat contentedly in front of his full plate and glass of soy milk, swinging his legs like a 5-year-old and softly humming a tuneless ditty. Considering the boy's seeming tone-deafness, his companion looked surprisingly serene, perched like crane atop a barstool before her own plate and teacup. For once, the silence--or at least, near silence--between the two teens was companionable, and when Raven was sure Beast Boy wasn't looking, she allowed her lips to curl upward at the way he had strictly separated his herbivores and carnivores. The boy was similarly amused--and just a touch perturbed--by the girl's own collection of beasts; they were all decapitated. _Who eats all the animals head-first?_ the youth wondered, but fear for his own head kept his mouth shut.

Thus it came as a complete surprise when it was she, not he, who spoke out first.

"So... Noah's Arc?"

"Huh?"

"You said you were playing with your food. What were you playing?"

"Oh. No. The lions were stalking a zebra."

Again, she raised that delicate brow.

"What?" he asked.

"You had lions stalking a zebra. _You_ had lions stalking a zebra."

"Yeah?"

Raven was normally super quick on the uptake. The fact that she was repeating herself had Beast Boy a little concerned.

Again, that almost-smile graced the dark girl's lips. Slowly, as if speaking to a small child, she explained, "You, animal lover and vegan extraordinaire, had lions stalking a zebra."

He stared blankly at her.

The girl sighed heavily. "It's called situational irony."

"Oh." The boy blushed deeply, the red vivid against his green coloring.

Full lips quirked upwards at the sight, but as the overhead light flickered dangerously, they were quickly schooled back into impassivity. Silence descended over the two teens again, broken only by the crunch of Raven beheading a hippopotamus.

"It happens all the time," Beast Boy said quietly, by way of explanation for his earlier actions.

"I beg your pardon?"

"It happens all the time: animals eating animals. It's in their nature."

Raven stared thoughtfully at her partner, oddly reminded of a late night conversation by the bay. In the aftermath of the fight with Adonis, they had spoken quietly of primal natures and controlled instincts. Now, the girl felt comfortable enough to ask what she had wondered then. "Why _don't_ you eat meat, Beast Boy? If anyone can understand the urge for a good steak, you'd _think_ it would be the guy who can turn into any predator on the planet."

The boy perked up at the sideways compliment; it wasn't often that Raven acknowledged his morphing skills. "Well, yeah, I've been the lion," he smiled. "But I've also been the zebra."

"So, you don't eat meat because you've _been_ most of those animals?"

"Right." He beamed, glad that for once, someone actually seemed interested in understanding his dietary choices instead of just slamming them.

"In that case," the girl said, her usual wry humor coloring her monotone, "should you really be eating _animal_ crackers?"

Beast Boy stilled, a giraffe just half an inch away from his open mouth. He stared at the biscuit for a long time before carefully returning it to its troop and sliding his plate toward Raven. "You're _mean_."

Her violet eyes sparkled as she waved off the insult. "Oh, just drink your soy milk, Beast Boy."

Ever infantile, the boy stuck out his tongue but did as instructed, happily swinging his legs like a 5-year-old and humming a tuneless ditty.


	2. Men

_Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. They are the property of DC Comics and Cartoon Network._

**Crackers**

**Chapter Two: Men**

_"Run!" the officer screams, just as the building behind him explodes in a shower of glass, stone, and metal._

_Old ladies drop their shopping bags in horror, small children wail for their parents, and young couples crouch together in the melting snow as they're pelted with debris._

_As the smoke clears, an ominous figure emerges from the blown out wall and says--_

"Awww, is little Rae Rae playing make believe?"

Raven's eyes cut into the speaker like the shrapnel she just imagined. "Call me that once more, Beast Boy, and I'll toss you out a window."

"Eheheh. Heh?"

The green teen swallowed nervously, unsure whether or not the threat was legitimate. But Raven's mouth slowly stretched from a thin, flat line to a smooth, upward arc, and her teammate exhaled loudly.

"You're _mean_," he said.

"I know," she replied.

The boy beamed at her. "So, what were you playing with?"

"My food," she admitted dryly, revealing the forms of two clumsily decorated gingerbread men, one of which appeared to be holding a bomb. "Try one?"

"Love to."

It had been months since the summer heat and the box of animal crackers, and in the interceding time, Cyborg had teasingly given both female Titans cookbooks. To everyone's surprise, that little bit of instruction had turned Raven into a rather respectable chef. To be sure, she was no Paula Dean, but her pancakes actually _tasted_ like pancakes now.

So, with Christmas just a few weeks away, the budding baker had been trying her hand at various holiday-themed foods for the joint party with Titans East. Today's experiment: gingerbread.

Reaching out for the slightly singed pastry, Beast Boy decided these looked like keepers. Pausing just shy of a first bite, he asked, "What's in 'em?"

"They're not poisoned if that's what you mean. How could I have known _you'd_ be the first one down here after they were done?"

He smiled nervously, wondering if he should be wary of his breakfast tomorrow. "Er, no," the boy said aloud. "I meant was it veg-friendly?"

"Well, they've got molasses, flour, ginger, cinnamon-- Oh, eggs. Sorry."

"S'ok," he replied, face betraying his disappointment.

"Would you--" Raven began hesitantly. The oven door rattled. The girl frowned, then continued in crisp, aloof tones. "If it really means so much to you, I suppose I could make some with egg substitute."

"That... would be nice," Beast Boy said, meeting her eyes with a smile. He stared just a moment too long for either of their comfort levels and flushing crimson, he turned away. "I'll just, uh, put this back up then, yeah?" he squeaked, gesturing between the cookie in his hand and the cooling rack.

Raven almost laughed at his bumbling when suddenly the boy whipped back around, all embarrassment forgotten. "Is this a gingerbread dog!?"

"I had extra dough."

"Could you make mine _all_ gingerbread dogs?"

"Whatever you'd like."

"Cool!" The boy turned back around, picking up the small, four-legged treat and dancing it along the counter top. "Arf arf! Arf!"

Taking off the R-emblazoned apron Raven had borrowed from her leader, the fledgling cook allowed a faint smile at her teammate's childlike jubilance.

"Although," she said, "I thought the whole eating animals thing was against your principles? I mean, you're eating a _puppy_ in effigy."

The boy's pointed ears drooped like a kicked dog's, and he muttered begrudgingly, "Guess you got a point." The girl almost recanted her deadpan joking, but then the boy perked right back up. Raven could practically see the lightbulb turning on above his head.

"In that case, though, should _you_ really be eating those gingerbread _men_?"

Raven suppressed a broad smile a her companion's rare wit, and instead decided to play along, looking appraisingly at the cookie in her hand. "Well," she finally declared, "I _am_ half-demon." And with a nonchalant shrug, she cleanly bit its head right off.


End file.
